Buy An Oscar-Winning Actress, Only $300,000
Everybody is looking for a bargain these days, especially with the economy in the shitter. Today, we have something very special for anyone interested in purchasing their own Oscar-winning child star. Phone lines are open and operators are standing by. Actress, Rubina Ali, from the popular film Slumdog Millionaire is for sale. Her father, Rafiq Qureshi, announced to News of the World that he would be selling his daughter to better himself, his family and most importantly his daughter's life. How could you pass up an opportunity like this? ...and if you act now we'll throw in a pair of ShamWow's, absolutely free!
In a bid to escape India's real-life slums, Rafiq Qureshi put angel-faced darling of the Oscars Rubina up for adoption, demanding millions of rupees worth £200,000.
As he offered the shocking deal to the News of the World's undercover fake sheik this week, Rafiq declared: "I have to consider what's best for me, my family and Rubina's future."
Rafiq tried to blame Hollywood bosses for forcing him to put his daughter up for sale.
As he tried to fix the illegal adoption deal, real-life slum dweller Rafiq declared: "We've got nothing out of this film."
Then, almost embarrassed to speak it out loud, he whispered to an accomplice the price tag he has put on his innocent young daughter: "It's £200,000!"
If Freida Pinto was for sale we could expect numbers somewhere in the 800,000 to 1,200,000 rupee range...