Jennifer Aniston's Love Timeline Parallels Her Movie Timeline

Jun 13th, 2009

When it comes to Jennifer Aniston, we're supposed to both sympathize and feel bad for her. Sure, her love track record hasn't been the greatest from Brad Pitt dumping her for Angelina Jolie to never having a relationship (even with Vince Vaughn) last after a few months. But we don't feel bad for anyone who looks like her and has millions. BUY A GUY.

Jen was honored at the Crystal and Lucy Awards in Los Angeles yesterday for her contribution to film and the tabloid industry and shed some light on how her love life went incredibly well with the movies she made.

While accepting her award, Jenny Aniston once again joked about her love life, "I have a strange parallel with movies I was doing and my life off screen. First, it was The Good Girl...which evolved into Rumor Has It, followed by Derailed. Then there was The Breakup. Followed by the lighter side, Friends With Money. If anyone has a movie called Everlasting Love With an Adult Stable Man, that would be great! I'm at table six, and my agents are at table 12." (source)


From heartbroken to comedian! We got the Jen of all trades here. You should never have to beg when you're Jennifer Aniston. Beotch just sold herself down the river of desperate. We're pretty sure Jen walked off the stage, immediately ran into her private, luxurious dressing room, cried into kleenex napkins, as she continuously poked her Angelina Jolie voo-doo doll while shouting "WHYYYYYYY!!!!!!

Her next film is The Baster about being impregnated...so I can't wait to see how that one plays out in her life. Perhaps stealing Brad's sperm? And wait. There's an award for contributing to the tabloid industry? And these hussies complain about their pics in them all of the time? BLASPHEMY!

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