Kristen Stewart Fights Porcupine at Teen Choice Awards, Loses
Dear Kristen Stewart:
We know you think playing Joan Jett is a new high for your career, but let us face the real issue at hand: the threads youre bringing off the set areto put it lightlytacky and a bit vomit-inducing. The trailer trash mullet is looking greasier than our pizza last night, and the whole I-just-brawled-with-a-porcupine look brings tears to our eyes.
Where are the long K-Stew locks that said, Hey, I dont try and Im still scorching hot? Because now it really looks like you dont care Or your stylist is playing a cruel, practical joke on you.
Either way, were asking you to straighten up. Make us believe you are worthy enough to have been linked to such fine specimen as Robert Pattinson. Nowadays hes looking more like a woman than you are.