Madonna's $75,000 Cellulite Miracle Machine

Apr 20th, 2010

Let's state the obvious: Madonna is loaded. She's so rich and worried about her aging bod that she decided to dish out $75,000 for a machine that claims to be "a miracle cure" for cellulite. I guess when you're dating someone more than half of your age, you have to do what's necessary to keep them wandering off to someone their own age.

It supposedly exiles dimpling through the use of acoustic shock waves. Madge is certainly the ideal candidate for the mechanism: manufacturers suggest users already possess "good muscle tone."

I'm just getting a visual of a naked Madge with her skin rippling to cease all cellulite...and I don't know if I can sleep tonight.

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