Tony Romo Kicks Jessica Simpson to the Curb

Jul 14th, 2009

Joe Simpson basically just threw up his hands full of joy knowing that Tony Romo just dumped his daughter, Jessica Simpson. You know his secret pining for his daughter has always gotten the best of him. So yes, sadly everyone, Tony has like totally dumped Jessica. She's currently drowning her sorrows in a pint of Ben & Jerry's.

How will Jessica stay relevant now? And Tony really did it with style. Gave home girl the boot right before her birthday. Good move, too. He can save his $24.95. She'll have to get Mama Joe's wig another time.

Jessica was planning a Barbie and Ken-themed party for her birthday (and there's the reason why Tony quit her ass), but canceled it. The source went on to say, "She is heartbroken. She loves Tony. But it's been difficult lately. He's busy with his career and she's getting ready to shoot her show (The Price of Beauty). They decided to part ways."
Jessica took a break from drowning her sorrows in sheet cake (Jennifer Aniston already ate the country's supply of packaged cookie dough), to Twitter a little bit. Last night, she wrote: "Everyone needs to know that hope floats...grab the strings and pull it back to you." A few hours later, she added: "Falling asleep with my mom and the dogs. Please lord give all of my beautiful fans, friends, enemies, and family rest. Bring all of us peace."
What she really meant is: PLEASE LORD GET ME THE COVER OF PEOPLE THIS WEEK! (source)

Looks like Pizza Hut is about to renew their contract...

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